Raising financially wise & gospel-centred children
How do we raise financially wise and gospel-centred children? We asked Ben and Dee Burnell to share their approach to discipling their kids about money.
Why is it important to intentionally teach your kids about money and what attitude towards money do you want them to have by the time they leave home?
As parents, our role in pretty much every area is to raise competent adults, and that's no different in finance. Money is a tool, so our kids need to be taught how to use it. So much of how we earn, allocate, and spend money happens privately. If we never talk about it, and just let our kids observe us and others use money, then they’ll miss some key behind-the-scenes aspects of financial management and possibly pick up an unhelpful way to view and use money.
We want them to see money simply as a ‘thing’, or a ‘tool’. Money is helpful, but it’s not something to rule our lives or obsess over. We want our kids to know that ultimately, their money is simply a gift given to them by God for a time, and that they have a responsibility to use it wisely in light of this understanding.
It's important to show them how we honour God with the money that He entrusts us with, and — from a practical perspective — demonstrate how to split it out so all of life's expenses are covered.
What are some ways our culture might influence children towards a wrong attitude about money?
We often hear the phrase ‘money can’t buy happiness’,, but it’s not the message we experience day-to-day. There’s always a little bit of, “yeah but……” that follows in our hearts. Our culture promotes a self-first attitude, encouraging us to gain material possessions in the search for happiness and contentment.
What are a couple of practical examples of how you disciple your kids with money?
We teach our kids to separate their money into three categories: save, spend and give. They put 10% of their pocket money into their ‘give’ category, while they evenly split the rest into save and spend. Spending money gets used on little things like gimmicky toys and lollies. Their savings get spent when there is a decent amount there and they have their eye on something they really want. This teaches them to only buy out of what they have, and not to buy on a whim. We instruct them to donate their ‘give’ money where they are being spiritually fed. For them, that means Cornerstone Church. They sometimes ask us about giving to good things like the Guide Dog Foundation. We want our kids to give 10% to God first, so if they want to support other causes, it needs to come out of their spend or save money.
We've also tried to help them see the difference between cost and value. For example, at a market, we'll offer each child an amount of money to spend however they like. We help them to weigh up short-term purchases like ice cream or ten minutes on a bouncy castle against a toy, book, or ornament that will last longer. Collecting and storing things up isn't the goal; experiences can be an awesome way to spend money. There's no right or wrong, but this process highlights the decision and empowers them by putting them in control of the purchase.
Sometimes it means allowing them to make mistakes early while the consequences are small, to learn a lesson the hard way without significant repercussions. This shapes how we respond to situations, especially when we disagree with their intended actions.
How does wanting to raise financially wise and generous children encourage or challenge your own financial attitude and decisions?
We are conscious of what we do and say around the kids, knowing that they pick up what they see. Our human hearts still want to take control and build our own nest, but teaching the children about generosity means we’re preaching to ourselves the truth we want to live by at the same time. We don’t want to be the parents who say “do what I say, not what I do”.
What are some ways you are open with your kids about how you use and treat your money?
We talk about the actual costs of things: food, entertainment, pets etc. Conversations about money can happen in front of children so they can see our decision-making process behind spending. Sometimes we’ll bring them in on the decisions. For example, “Would you like to go out for lunch, or shall we go enjoy an activity together?” or “You could buy a SoYo ice cream, or get a whole tub of ice cream and a bag of lollies instead!”
How do you encourage your children to be generous in heart, not just in action?
This seems to come in stages, and maybe always will. When our kids were little, they seemed to be naturally generous with their toys, and giving things to each other and friends. As they’ve grown and grasped the concept of ‘owning’ things and ‘saving’, sometimes this has resulted in a less generous spirit. For birthdays, we now have a rule “you can make or buy something, but you must give your sibling something for their birthday”. This arose after seeing one child start to pull back on being generous. So while they don’t choose if they give, they do choose what they give. It’s a long-game; by ‘forcing’ them to give each other gifts, it builds a habit that will become normal over time.
The practical outworking of financial discipleship will look different for each family. Are there some core principles or convictions that you would encourage for every Christian parent?
Get them to put aside money to give when they are young, from the moment you give money that is theirs. If they have always given money to God, then they will never have to battle to get their heads around it when they’re older and earning more significant amounts. We want our children to feel as natural about giving to God as they feel about getting dressed each day.
Ben and Dee are members of Cornerstone City Church. Ben serves on the Executive Committee and Dee is on the staff team overseeing our children's ministry. They have four children, aged 9 to 13.